Saturday, June 23, 2012

This is the BBC (Byzantine Broadcasting Corporation) World News for Europe at Spring 1875

 Eastern Roman Empire Appalled at Condition of National Historic Site Prompts Action by Museum of Antiquities

In an effort to preserve the noble history of the Roman Empire Byzantine archeologists were forced to eject inept Italian archeologists from Pompeii. Director of Antiquities, Maximus Lootus, has stated that a special expedition recently occupied the national historic site with the aid of the Eastern Roman Navy. Lootus has vowed to remove various relics to Constantinople for ‘safe keeping’ and is currently involved in site restoration. The brothels are of particular interest.



  Germany Joins the United Kingdom and Russia as Terms of the European Union Re-Negotiated

In terms dictated by the unholy alliance of the United Kingdom and the Russian Empire Germany agreed to a re-restructuring of the European Union. The Kaiser has agreed to abdicate in favour of a newly structured European Parliament in which Germany will have 1 vote and the other two members 500.



Beer Wars Continue to Rage in the Benelux

 Froggy Forces under Prince Mac-Mahon successfully maintained their control over Belgium as British forces were repulsed in an abortive attempt to control valuable Stella Artois breweries in Belgium. Promsing lukewarm beer for all Lord Stanley was quoted as stating “If we Birtish have to drink crappy warm ale then we think everybody should”.

Prince Mac-Mahon was heard to remark the only things that should be served at room temperature is a good French Beaujolis and Brie.

Italians Fleet Pays Courtesy Visit to Marseilles

Elements of the Regiae Marina have, at the invitation of Prince Mac-Mahon, dropped anchor in the Port of Marseilles. Whither the Italians go in the future is somewhat of a mute point as Eastern Roman and Austrian-Hungarian units continue their assault on the Kingdom of Italy.

Is Italy long for this world?


General Inefficace decorated by Marshal MacMahon after Belgium Army Disbands

The nation of France was entralled with the skillful retreat by Army #1 of the French Regional Occupation Group (FROG). Shown here decorating the leader of this unparalleled example of retrograde advance, Marshal MacMahon stated, "Our armies only advance so that we may show our skill in retreat. For some time we were concerned that Great Britain might find it difficult to defeat our FROG army in Belgium. However, General Inefficace, in charge of the army, developed an ingenious plan. Our troops were in their trenches, manning the barricades, and determined to resist to the last, when he simply offered the troops a weekend pass in Paris. By Friday at 5pm, there wasn't a French soldier left ....

No comments:

Post a Comment