Thursday, May 31, 2012

This is the BBC (Byzantine Broadcasting Corporation) World News for Europe at Fall 1874.

Peace Conference Fails: Europe Set to Fall into Anarchy

In an effort to secure a lasting peace in Europe high level officials met with the Overseer in a secret location in Ottawa last weekend.

Atlantic Simulations Society Observers seen with Hidden Mike.

Special Roman envoy Stabbus in the Backus remarked that while no agreement could be reached on foreign policy and the resolution of  ongoing warfare the summit was able to issue a joint communique stating “The beer was good, really, really good.”

League of Nations  In Conference (Left to Right) Editor of the BBC, Unknown Delegate, The Overseer
Dressed in the Latest Fashions: The Atlantic Simulations Society Golf Shirt

 Eastern Romans Liberate the Roma and Re-Unite Them With the Empire

With the strange disappearance of the Imperial Russian Fleet in Rumania Roman Cataphracts entered Bucharest to cheering crowds of their long lost Roma brethern. Vowing to re-establish ancient Roma rights to petty thievery, fortune telling, pick pocketing, selling good luck charms, wild music and dancing General Belesarius has promised gypsies full freedom to use their talents elsewhere in Europe.

 Russian Fleet Scuttled After Eastern Roman Army Attacks Rumania

After attacks by units of the Eastern Roman Empire the Black Sea Fleet chose the “River Plate Option”. Refusing to retreat in the face of the overwhelming might of the Byzantine Army Admiral Stepan Osipovich Makarov ordered his fleet to scuttle itself. The admiral has been recalled to St. Petersburg for urgent consultations with the Okrana.

Italians and French at Loggerheads Over Sponsorship Rights to Oktoberfest

French and Italian troops clashed over the rights to the valuable sponsorship of the annual Oktoberfest in Munich. Both  the Italians and the French had vowed to replace beer with a fine selection of their famous wines. Unable to reach agreement over  whether or not Chianti or Beaujolais should be featured beverages it would appear that for the time being Lowenbrau will continue to be the beverage of choice for Germany.

Italian plans to open a chain of “Luigi’s  Fusion Sauerkraut & Pizzas ” has been shelved for the time being.

Lord Stanley and Prince Mac-Mahon Trade Insults: War Imminent

In a vicious criticism of Great Britain based on an apparent lack of keeping their word Prince Mac-Mahon has called Lord Stanley down to the lowest by referring him as a typical “rostbif”. In response Lord Stanley has stated that Prince Mac-Mahon is just the usual type of thing you can expect from a ‘Wog”.

Tensions apparently arose over the control of the Channel Ports.

It can be expected that “les rosbifs” and the “wogs” will continue their historical relationship- that of frienship, goodwill and great insults.

Lost One Army: Answers to the Name of V Panzer Corps

Reward Offered if returned to Berlin or C/O His Mother-In-Law at Balmoral Castle.

The Kaiser reports that he has lost his favourite army and is offering a reward for its safe return. It was last seen in Fall 1873 wandering off towards Russia. Answers to the name of 5th. Panzer Korps. Anyone having seen this army is urged to contact the Kaiser. A substantial reward for its safe return is offered. Posted below is a recent photo.

My Beautiful 5th. Panzer. Oh where, oh where can it be?

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